The Kate Chronicles

Weddings are a celebration of love, commitment, and the start of a new chapter. But somewhere between saying “yes” and saying “I do,” many couples realize that their wedding has somehow become a free-for-all of opinions, demands, and unsolicited advice. Suddenly, family, friends, and even distant relatives feel like they have a stake in your big day.

Let’s set the record straight: no one is entitled to your wedding except you and your soon-to-be spouse.

1. Your Guest List Is Your Choice

One of the biggest sources of wedding drama? The guest list. Some people assume an invite simply because they share a last name with you or because you once grabbed coffee together back in 2018. But here’s the reality: your wedding is not a public event—it’s an intimate celebration meant for the people who truly matter to you.

Friends and family may feel disappointed if they don’t make the cut, but at the end of the day, your wedding isn’t about their expectations—it’s about you and your spouse. Your venue size, your budget, and most importantly, your personal relationships should shape your guest list—not guilt trips or pressure from others.

When I was planning my wedding, one guiding principle kept me sane: If I wouldn’t truly care about your presence, I’m not going to care about your absence. And that’s the mindset every couple deserves to have.

2. Your Wedding, Your Rules

From dress codes to venue choices, people love to insert their opinions into wedding planning. “You have to invite kids!” “You should have an open bar!” “You need to wear this kind of dress!”

No. What you need to do is plan the wedding that reflects you and your fiance’s vision. If you want a courthouse wedding with only your closest people, do it. If you want a destination wedding with a handful of guests, go for it. If you want a big traditional celebration, that’s your choice too. No one else gets a say.

3. You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation

One of the hardest parts of wedding planning is feeling like you have to justify your decisions. You don’t.

You don’t have to explain why you didn’t invite your third cousin’s boyfriend. You don’t have to justify why you chose a brunch reception instead of a five-course dinner. Your wedding choices are valid simply because they are yours.

4. People Who Love You Will Respect Your Choices

At the end of the day, those who genuinely care about you will respect your decisions—even if your choices aren’t what they would have made. True friends and family will celebrate you, not criticize you. And if someone is making your wedding about themselves? That says more about them than it does about you.

5. Your Wedding Should Be About the Marriage, Not the Expectations

A wedding is just one day. Your marriage is for life. The stress of trying to please everyone isn’t worth it. Focus on what truly matters—celebrating your love and commitment in a way that feels right to you.

So, if you need permission to prioritize yourself and your fiancé, here it is: You don’t owe anyone an invitation, an explanation, or a wedding that caters to their expectations. This day is about you two—end of story.